Spenser: Confidential (3/10)

by Tony Medley

111 minutes.

R.

This is the third TV series to be made out of Robert Parker’s “Spenser” Private Eye books. “Spenser: For Hire” was a circa 1985 series starring Robert Urich as Spenser. Of all three, that one was the best cast. Urich, a big guy at a bulky 6-2, was a good Spenser, but the best of the lot was Avery Brooks as Hawk, Spenser’s tough hoodlum buddy. Both Urich and Hawk complied with Parker’s description of their characters. In fact, Brooks was as much Hawk as Clark Gable was Rhett Butler. The series lasted four seasons and was moderately entertaining.

Next came several TV movies with Joe Mantegna as Spenser. These failed to come even close to the characters, and aren’t worth further comment.

Now comes this movie, with Mark Wahlberg. Wahlberg is a certified tough guy, but as Spenser he suffers the same fate as Tom Cruise playing Jack Reacher, which was enormously insulting to the fans of Lee Childs’ books. Reacher is 6-5, 240 and for Tiny Tom to play Reacher ruined the movies.

Spenser is described as a heavyweight fighter, and he spars with Hawk often. Wahlberg, at 5-8, maybe 170 lbs. soaking wet, just doesn’t come close to Parker’s Spenser. To continue the analogy, it would be like casting Jimmy Stewart or Mickey Rooney as Rhett Butler. But far worse is the casting of Winston Duke as Hawk. Hawk is a strong silent type that makes even the baddest of the bad guys cringe when he walks into a room. Duke is a flabby-looking teddy bear. Hawk is arrogantly confident; Duke seems cringingly unsure of himself.

While Wahlberg makes a valiant effort, Duke’s casting destroys the movie. Not that it needed him to destroy it, though. It’s an exceptionally trying mockery of an action film with every cliché known to the genre.

Worse than all this, though is what they have done to Spenser himself. Parker’s Spenser, although a true tough guy, is well-read and erudite, quotes from great literature and popular song lyrics, is a gourmet cook, is arrogantly funny and appreciates the finer things in life. Wahlberg’s Spenser is none of these, just a papier-mâché former cop, ex-con PI with little or no education or sophistication.

Parker’s Spenser has a cultured girlfriend, Susan Silverman, who is a psychologist with a Ph.D, and is nothing if not brilliant and classy. Wahlberg’s Spenser has a foul-mouthed, violent girlfriend, Cissy Davis (Iliza Schlesinger), a woman for whom Parker’s Spenser would not give the time of day.

The only character that comes close to any that Parker created is Henry Cimoli, played perfectly by Alan Arkin, who owns the gym where Spenser and Hawk train. But that’s too little too late.

This is directed by Peter Berg, who collaborated with Wahlberg for 2016's outstanding Patriot's Day but took a step back in 2018 with Mile 22, from a script by Sean O’Keefe and Brian Helgeland, based on a book called “Wonderland” by Ace Atkins who took over writing about Spenser after Parker’s death. Parker wrote 40 books about Spenser. I don’t know why the producers decided to make a film out of a book that Atkins wrote instead of the original creator. Atkins is a pale imitation of Parker; his books don’t come close to anything Parker produced.

I am informed by people unfamiliar with Parker’s books and characters that they liked this movie. But fans of Parker’s Spenser beware: the casting stinks, the script stinks, and the story is an amalgamation of formulaic platitudes. Robert Parker would not be happy with what they've done to his characters.