Mile 22 (1/10)
by Tony Medley
Runtime 90 minutes.
R.
I’m not sure why people buy
Rolex watches. I have worn one for four decades, even spent lots of
money to upgrade it recently, but it still doesn’t keep accurate time.
Even though it has a black dial and supposed to be luminous, I can’t see
it in the dark. I just bought a new digital watch that is easy to see in
the dark, and was so thankful to have it
for this movie because I was looking at the watch almost every five
minutes to see how much longer I had to sit there and suffer.
These movies just seem to get
worse and worse. This one is one idiotic fight after another. When the
kung fu fighting was over, then the gunfights started, and they are even
more imbecilic. Thrown in, of course, are more silly car chases. After
the car chase, there is a gunfight. There’s a gunfight in the street.
Then they move in to have a different gunfight inside a building that
seems to last at least 30 minutes. It would be a lot cheaper just to go
to a firing range and watch and listen people shoot, because that’s all
these gunfights are; people firing assault weapons at one another.
Mostly it’s an exercise in the sounds of automatic weapons firing
because nobody can see who is shooting whom. It’s a half hour of
incomprehensible mayhem with what seems like hundreds of bad guys out to
get the two or three good guys. Guess who prevails?
The story? They don’t need no
stinkin’ story! What they in all seriousness and unmitigated hubris call
a plot with a straight face is just a flimsy excuse for the fights and
gun battles and car chases. But even though there is really no coherent
tale to tell, it doesn’t end! It reminded me of the first and last James
Patterson book I read, which required you to buy the next book to find
out what happened. I didn’t, and never read another of his books. The
really depressing thought is that they are clearly setting the audience
up for a sequel, God forbid.
Director Peter Berg seems to
think that the best way to create tension is to have lots of extreme
close ups and rapid fire dialogue. Fast dialogue works with Shakespeare
because his lines are astute and clever. Believe me when I say that
screenwriter Lea Carpenter is no Bard of Avon. The fast dialogue and
extreme close-ups are
nothing but annoying.
Mark Wahlberg continues to show
that he doesn’t appreciate his talent, because if he did, he wouldn’t
waste it on preternatural violent junk like this.
The only redeeming value of the
film is the presence of John Malkovich in the cast. Even in a stinker
like this, his electric presence brightens up the screen.
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