Mission: Impossible—Fallout
(3/10)
by Tony Medley
Runtime: a seemingly endless 147
minutes.
PG-13.
In case you don’t realize it,
you can tell when a story is weak by how many car chases the director
inserts into a film. The weaker the story, the more car chases. This one
has more idiotic car chases than I’ve ever seen in a movie; one after
another through the streets of Paris. Finally, after what seemed like
four hours of car chases, I looked at my watch and there were still 90
more minutes to go. Then when it did finish its climax it goes on with a
maudlin 5-minute continuation. Yikes!
These things just get sillier
and sillier. Written and directed by Christopher McQuarrie, and starring
Tom Cruise who has let his apparent Napoleon complex get the best of
him. At 5-7 on his tiptoes, he ruined the Jack Reacher movies for
devoted fans of Lee Child's books by portraying a 6-5, 240 lb. man who
in the books makes everyone shrink back when he walks into a bar.
Somehow Tom got involved in these Mission Impossible things. In the TV
show there was a team and each did something that added to the whole of
what they were trying to accomplish. Here, Tom is the boss and does it
all. His “teammates” are just there for comic relief, basically.
There is not an ounce of tension
in this. The bad guy is so obvious if you don’t know it from the outset
you haven’t seen enough of these things (lucky you!). The car chases are
so derivative they can put you to sleep. How many times can you see Tom
drive a motorcycle or a car the wrong way on a one way street to try to
get away from the bad guys chasing him before you say, “enough,
already!”?
Tom and his gang are trying to
get to two nuclear weapons before they go off and destroy the world. So
what else is new?
They didn’t make movies like
this back in the day. They made musicals and comedies and dramas and
detective stories and noir and and war movies. Superman was
unintentionally laughable on TV with a guy playing him that looked like
he was too fat for his underwear. Likewise Batman, who was played for
laughs (brilliantly) by Adam West, but on TV, certainly not on the big
screen.
Now Hollywood puts out scads of
superhero junk and things like this with a protagonist that does things
that are impossible for an ordinary human being. It’s all fantasy filled
with special effects and stunts which strain credulity (that Cruise
claims to perform all himself) and they are no more involving or
entertaining than
Buster Crabbe playing Flash Gordon.
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