Last Knight (1/10)
by Tony Medley
Runtime 149 minutes.
Not for adults.
I thought that
King Arthur: Legend of the
Sword was as bad as a movie could get. Then I saw
Transformers: the Last Knight and I realized that there was a lower
This is total and
utter nonsense whose raison d’ętre is IMAX 3D CGI. Because the story is
idiotic, a bunch of machines from another galaxy are taking over the
earth, but some of them are good machines on our side. The machines are
intelligent creatures and they can turn from cars into monsters with
just a few flicks of the director’s computer keyboard.
reprises his role from the last
movie in 2014. Anthony Hopkins (Sir Edmund Burton) and Laura Hadlock
(Viviane), an Oxford professor are in this one, also. I’m not sure quite
Directed by Michael
Bay with four people getting credit for the story and the screenplay,
this goes on and on and on with silly fights filled with
computer-generated effects. The idea seems to be that Optimus Prime, the
good guy transformer has been turned around to help the bad guy
transformers terminate earth. With all these people involved in the
creation, wouldn’t you think that they could come up with something that
wasn’t terminally disjointed and convoluted?
I’ve always been fond
of Wahlburg as an actor but he has been in some really rotten movies,
like these Transformer things and the two deplorable Ted movies that are
nothing but low class smut. I know he makes a lot of money on this stuff
but for someone of his caliber and wealth there should be more to his
life than squandering his talent making movies that don’t even qualify
for the lowest common denominator just to make money. As of now, a “Mark
Wahlburg Film Festival” won’t be very impressive. He’s better than this
rubbish, as is Hopkins.
There is some
dialogue between Cade and Viviane that tries to imply that there is some
sort of budding romance. But Cade seems to have eyes only for Optimus
Prime, but that’s a relationship that definitely lacks chemistry. During
the film I was wondering if there is a term for a physical relationship
between a human and a machine? Machineality, maybe? Obviously I had a
lot of time to kill waiting for this thing to end. Eating a whole box of
Junior Mints wasn’t enough.