Transformers: Age of Extinction (3/10)
by
Tony Medley
Runtime 2 hours 45 minutes
OK
for children
7:00: Arrived at historic Paramount lot for 7:30 screening, driving
through the iconic gate: I hate movies like this. Potential grade 1/10
7:05: Enter theater: no production notes or cast & crew “We don’t give
notes for these types of movies.” This is a bad sign.
7:40: Movie Starts: Good start for action director Michael Bay. 3/10
8:00: Mark Wahlburg very good; Kelsey Grammer very good; story
interesting: Wahlburg’s daughter, Nicola Peltz whose real father is a
billionaire, is pretty and a good actress in a difficult part
(especially given that the stars are the machines). Her boyfriend,
Irishman Jack Reynor, is also pretty but his part is relatively
papier-maché, so one can’t make a judgment on his ability; he does a
good job for what it is. 7/10
8:30: Special effects spectacular: Humans play a big part in the story:
Grammer, the head of the CIA, is out to get Wahlburg and his daughter
but they’re being defended by some of the machines, all of whom have
personalities: 8/10
9:00: Story still appealing: Big bad government in movies used to be
annoying to me but recently the plotline of corrupt government seems
more plausible: Stanley Tucci appears as an avaricious entrepreneur
working with Grammer to develop the best fighting machine ever, and is
at the top of his game in a part that is undemanding, to say the least.
8/10
9:30: Lots and lots and lots of machines fighting one another:
Implausible situations (well, OK, the entire thing is ridiculous, but
there should be some logic in all movies. The machines seem
indestructible, but they can die. Some survive the same things that kill
others). 7/10
9:45: Still more fighting between machines; special effects still good
but how much can one take? I start counting the seconds. 6/10
10:00: Will this never end? 5/10
10:15: I’m exhausted. Although I never once felt sleepy because of all
the noise and action, this is just too much for any normal human to
endure. But I firmly believe that what doesn’t kill you makes you
stronger. I start counting the half-seconds. 4/10
10:25: It’s over! I’m so tired I barely make it back to my car. Grade:
3/10
June
26, 2014
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