White
House Down (0/10)
by Tony
Medley
Runtime
134 minutes.
Not for
children.
Director Roland Emmerich is the master of the cartoon movie, aimed at
people perfectly willing to suspend belief in the laws of physics. The
only thing that separates his movies from a Roadrunner cartoon is that
the characters are not animated (although there might be some question
about Channing Tatum). His masterpiece, up until now, has been Day
After Tomorrow (2004), in which he had one have his characters, a
scientist, exclaim, “the temperature is plunging ten degrees a second!,”
which would mean that absolute zero (-459.67°) would be reached in 55
seconds(assuming a starting temperature of 70°), at which point
all life on earth would cease to exist, as would the movie. Couldn’t he
have had somebody exclaim, “the temperature is dropping one degree every
three minutes" (20 degrees an hour), which would have been a disaster,
but something that was not patently absurd?
His new one, White House Down, is full of such absurdities. He
has Channing Tatum and Jason Clarke plunge through a glass skylight and
fall 30 feet, each landing on his back. When this happened, I leaned to
my friend and said, “Now they will jump up and continue fighting,” which
they did without a scratch or any effect from such a terrible fall
showing. If a fall like that didn’t kill somebody, it would break a lot
of bones and render him unable to do virtually anything, much less
continue the vicious fight. I’m not going to waste my time listing all
the ridiculous scenes in this truly silly movie. Just take my word for
it that they abound, especially one part of the ludicrous ending.
Bullets fly all over the place, killing hundreds of extras, but they
never even nick Tatum or his obnoxious daughter, Joey King (who actually
gives a good performance given the cliché-strewn script with which she
had to work).
But that’s not what is the most scurrilous part of this film. Who do you
think the bad guys are who take over the White House for nefarious
reasons? During World War II the bad guys in movies were always Nazis
and Japanese, with whom we were locked in mortal combat. Now we are
locked in mortal contact with Islamic extremists (if that is not
redundant), but when today’s Hollywood makes a movie about bad guys
taking over the White House, and this is not the first one this year (Olympus
Has Fallen, an almost identical film, beat this to the
theaters), the bad guys are not Islamic extremists.
No, since this movie is made by the Hollywood left (Emmerich has
contributed to and helped fundraise major bucks for the Democrats,
Clintons, and Obama), the bad guys are, guess who? They are the American
military-industrial complex, surprise, surprise! According to President
Jamie Foxx, they are against Foxx’s silly idea, straight out of the
Neville Chamberlain-Jimmy Carter-Barrack Obama playbook, of getting all
the bad guys in the world, like Iran, Russia, China, and North Korea
reasoning together so that we can all live in a peaceful world. It
presumes their peaceful intentions and that America is just a war
mongering evil.
If that happens, according to Foxx, there will be no reason to arm for
war and the military industrial complex will lose a lot of money, so
they’ve got to get rid of President Foxx. There is even a line in the
movie, if you can believe it, which has President Foxx saying, “There
were no nuclear weapons in Iran,” as if everyone in the audience buys
the lies of Iran’s ruling Islamic hierarchy that they are not developing
a nuclear bomb. I guess that Emmerich and screenwriter James Vanderbilt
do accept the good faith of Iran’s ruling mullahs and buy into Iran’s
“peaceful” pronouncements, however, because in the end, that’s what this
movie is about. People are entitled to their opinions and to contribute
to those with whom they agree, but they should not foist them on an
unsuspecting audience going to a movie for entertainment.
This type of foolishness runs through the entire film. I’m surprised
that James Woods, who has heretofore been known for his relatively
level-headed political beliefs, would lend his name and talent to a film
that puts forth such propaganda.
Despite the impressive special effects, even without the silly biased
political slant, this movie is so ridiculous with so many laughable
scenes, many revolving around Tatum’s wooden acting, that it could
almost pass as a comedy.
June
24, 2013
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