by Tony Medley

It was awesome, Dude! Like I’m sitting there reading the Production Notes and these two dudes who wrote this thing are quoted saying things like, “…we were like, ‘Well, that’s Horsedick,’” and “…I’m nine times out of 10 like, ‘There it is,’” and “I’m like, ‘I don’t know which cup I like.’” Mfer, that’s like, the way all us dudes talk. And I’m like sitting there and seeing all these like laugh dudes walk in and I’m like saying “Dude, I hope this isn’t so bad like they need to hire these laugh dudes,” but, like, Dude, there they were and all and this flick needed them so bad they changed seats several times during the screening, I guess to like spread the laughter around.

Dude, this treats sex the same way most of us hot high school types treat it. Like we don’t know much about it, but like all these chicks have big boobs and the language is like the way all us high school intellect dudes think is awesome, you know, like using c--k and d--k for the male member, and using it a lot, maybe in every sentence, and “mfer” all the time and like talking about bagging every chick we can, and just generally talking and acting like rappers.  You know, like demeaning women and all that.

Like this is such an awesome movie, Dude. Like it starts with this high school dude and his chick talking about abstinence and the movie makes them look like stupid d--ks. Dude, anyone who tries to talk about abstinence won’t make it in a Hollywood film or with us high school intellect dudes. Like who are you kidding, Dude? You gotta like make fun of them.

And, Dude, this film has Hugh Hefner. Like this is the dude who started it all. He never wears anything but a robe and lives in this mansion full of chicks who run around topless and have sex all the time. That’s the way all us dudes want to live, Dude. All the chicks have big boobs and let them all hang out. And this movie is so awesome, Dude, that it has Hef lecture the most awesome dude in the film, Tucker Cleigh (Trevor Moore), about relationships, and it’s awesome what Hef, who has never had a relationship that worked in his life, telling Tucker what it’s all about.

And like this film shows that when any chick actually talks to one of us dudes, like we are all tongue-tied and all. Like who thinks a chick would ever want to talk? It’s scary, Dude, but this movie captures all that.

Dude, Moore and Zach Cregger, who plays Eugene Bell, wrote, directed and starred in the film. These dudes are in the mold of Judd Apatow in that their only purpose seems to be to coarsen society, use gutter language, and appeal to the lowest intellect possible. That’s awesome, Dude. Judd would really be proud of them, Dude, because there’s a running poop joke throughout the film that is graphic and gross! That’s awesome, too, Dude.

March 11, 2009