I Now Pronounce You Chuck
and Larry (0/10)
by Tony Medley
Anyone who
thinks this job is easy should sit through one hour 51 minutes of this
film without being able to leave. This is an oh, so politically correct
diatribe for tolerance that is noteworthy for its intolerance about two straight firemen, Chuck (Adam Sandler) and Larry
(Kevin James), who register as homosexual domestic partners to take
advantage of a tax break.
Unfortunately, the film makers, director Dennis Dugan, an actor I
remember as having played a private eye called Richie Brockleman on
Steven Cannell’s TV hit, The Rockford Files, in the ‘70s, and writers
Barry Fanaro (who was also responsible for 2002’s deplorable Men in
Black II) and Alexander Payne (Sideways 2004, and About
Schmidt 2002), apparently have collected their meager knowledge
about heterosexual men from watching beer commercials.
These are their idiotic stereotypes for straight men. One, Larry, still
brooding over his long-dead wife, is a guy who can’t cook, can’t take
care of himself, and is awkward and uncomfortable raising his own
children. The other, Chuck, is such a womanizer that he takes on seven
at one time, never shaves (at least he always needs a shave), and
constantly mumbles. Well, actually the writers had no choice in that
because the only way Sandler can communicate is to mumble. It might have
been funny the first time or two, but now it’s just tedious.
They also create an imbecilic character, Clinton Fitzer (Steve Buscemi,
exacerbating his weak performance in Interview), who is some sort
of inspector trying to prove that Chuck and Larry are not really gay.
Every moment Buscemi is on the screen deteriorates the quality of this
film even further, hard as it is to believe that anything could make it
worse than it already is.
They apparently don’t care a whit what such an example would set for
Chuck’s two children, one boy and one girl. Two men sleeping together in
front of the children of one would set a questionable example. Not to
worry, Dugan & Co. take care of this problem by making sure that the
little boy is perceived as gay. They also didn’t seem to mind that what
Chuck and Larry were doing was blatant fraud, another reprehensible
example to set for Chuck’s children.
I
actually was ready to leave after the first minute, which is a pickup
basketball game filmed by someone who has never played in a pickup
basketball game, played by people, Chuck and Larry, who have probably
never played basketball before. For example, if the people you are
filming playing the game have played basketball, all you’d have to do is
shoot a few minutes of a game and you’d have shots of just about
everyone scoring. But in these scenes, there’s always a cut. Someone
takes a shot. Then there’s a cut to a shot of a ball going through the
basket. If they were real basketball players, they’d have a continuing
shot of someone taking for a shot following the ball going into the
basket without a cut. Apparently the actors pretending to be basketball
players never made a basket.
Even though it’s about two straight guys who pretend to be gay, this is
a clumsy homage to political correctness. The accomplished Richard
Chamberlain even makes a rare appearance in a cameo at the end.
Well, let me modify that. It is politically correct when it comes to
sexual preference, but it demeans women. Case in point is the doctor for
Larry and Chuck, Dr. Honey (Chandra West) who is a babe. She is
almost instantly minimalized by ending up as one of seven bimbos in
Chuck’s bed at the same time.
I
don’t know how the beautiful and talented Jessica Biel could have agreed
to appear in something as tawdry as this, but she does, as Chuck’s
platonic friend, Alex McDonough. In a subplot, Chuck has the hots for
her but has to pretend to be gay. When she finds out he isn’t, well,
gosh gee it’s just rollickingly hilarious…not!
I
never cracked a smile throughout the almost interminable eternity I was
forced to sit through this infantile, low class, tasteless film. Pleas
for tolerance should be packaged in something less maladroit. This is
too dimwitted to even be offensive.
July 16, 2007
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