Suicide Squad (3/10)
by Tony Medley
Runtime 123 minutes.
Not for children.
Back in the day
people read books. There were books like “Gone with the Wind” and
“Rebecca” and “From Here to Eternity” by authors like Margaret Mitchell
and Daphne du Maurier and James Jones and they were long, 1,037 pages in
‘Wind and 900 pages in ‘Eternity, and people read them and Hollywood
listened and bought them and made movies out of them with genuine
actors, stars like Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh and Olivia de Havilland
and Joan Fontaine and Laurence Olivier and Burt Lancaster and Montgomery
Clift and Deborah Kerr and Frank Sinatra, and people came and watched
the movies and they made money.
discovered smart phones and they spent their days looking at their smart
phones and they stopped reading books because their attention spans were
the length of a gnat’s eyelash, and Hollywood switched from making
movies out of books. Instead of reading books, people read comic books
where about all they had to do was look at pictures, and Hollywood
listened and bought the rights to the comic books and made movies out of
them. But they didn’t need real actors because there’s very little
dialogue in a comic book, just a bubble above a character with a short
statement. But there was a lot of action in comic books so Hollywood
made “action movies” that didn’t require acting, but were loaded up with
special effects and silly characters like Superman and Batman and
Spiderman, et. al.
Hollywood, they didn’t have to hire a bunch of script writers because
the story was always the same. Movie after movie after movie came out
filled with comic book characters with a ridiculous fight every 10
minutes and none of the comic book characters could die so it made the
people happy and they didn’t have to think and they flocked to these
movies by the millions and Hollywood made money and the people who
didn’t have to think went away happy because they hadn’t had to exert
any effort thinking during the movie. And because it’s the same plot of
every other movie like this, they don’t have to remember anything.
Suicide Squad is. Actually, it’s a tepid remake of The Dirty
Dozen (1967). The difference is that The Dirty Dozen was made
out of a real book the people read and loved and Hollywood bought it and
made a movie filled with good actors like Lee Marvin and Ernest Borgnine
and Charles Bronson and George Kennedy and Robert Ryan and Telly Savalas
and Donald Sutherland and people came to it and loved the movie.
is populated by a bunch of people nobody’s ever heard of. Oh, they’ve
got some well-known names like Will Smith in there and Margot Robbie
(who actually acts and gives a good performance, the only positive thing
in the movie) and Viola Davis, who deserves a better role than this.
This movie fits the formula perfectly with a fight every 10 or 15
minutes each of which defies all logic and reason.
The first hour is
spent introducing all the characters and all the horrible things they’ve
done. The second hour is them bonding with one another and banding
together ŕ la The Dirty Dozen to defeat a horrible opponent with
some of the silliest fights ever filmed.
This is a movie for
Millennials who spend their time playing the new Pokémon game walking
around with their noses stuck in their smart phones.
Nothing’s perfect, or
I would call this a perfect waste of time. I don’t like being trite, but
if you have seen one of these, you have seen them all.
For another view, however, a Millennial told me after
I described the film to her that she was looking forward to seeing it
because, "sometimes people just want to be entertained without