Magic Mike XXL (0/10)
by Tony Medley
Runtime 115 minutes, but it was too long at the 5 minute mark.
Not for children.
Iíve got a little list, a society of films that Iíve added to Danteís
Nine Circles of Hell, a Tenth Circle reserved for those filmmakers who
deserve this ultimate punishment. And the punishment is that those
unfortunates are condemned to watching these films on a loop over and
over again for all eternity. Magic Mike XXL is the first film to
be added to the list in several years.
This is the kind of movie that makes one yearn never to enter another
movie theater. It is tedious, dull, mentally incapacitating, filled with
F-bombs, and has no redeeming value whatsoever. Itís yet another movie
with Channing Tatum, an actor so deficient that in comparison he makes
bumbling Ultimate Fighting Champion Ronda Rousey (Entourage)
look like Helen Mirren. The ďMagicĒ in this film is that
Tatum has made it as a ďmovie star.Ē Whatís worse is that itís filled
with Channing Tatum-wannabes. If thatís not enough to turn you off, I
canít help you.
There is no plot, just a bunch of sleazeball hunks bondingÖand
bondingÖand bonding. Hey, what a great idea! Iím sure there are at least
three people in the world to which this will appeal.
Apparently Tatum, who produced, thought that seeing a bunch of
well-proportioned men bumping and grinding would appeal to women. God
knows Iím no expert on what appeals to women, but Iím extremely dubious
that this film will appeal to them, and thereís certainly nothing in it
The story is sheer fantasy, the script mind-numbing, the pace
non-existent. The original idea was
based on Tatumís own life, going from a male exotic dancer to Hollywood.
This film has his character going from running a good business back to
being an exotic dancer. One could only hope that Tatum will take his own