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Jupiter Ascending (2/10)
by Tony Medley
Runtime 127 minutes.
OK for children.
Itís bad enough to have to sit through over two hours of Channing Tatum
or is it Tatum Channing? I can never remember how these two last names
fit together. But to do it in what is labeled as a ďscience fiction
action adventure filmĒ that is such high fantasy that it gives you a
headache to try to figure it out, thatís just too much to ask of a human
being of ordinary intelligence. Iím certain that this will be a real hit
with a nine-year-old crowd because the 3-D is wonderful and the special
effects spectacular. But for an adult, the endless chases and fights that make no
cohesive sense whatever, make oneís mind turn off.
Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) has some heritage with an extraterrestrial
civilization of which she is totally unaware. Worse, how she got it is
never explained in the movie. Caine (Tatum [Channing?]) Is a Genetically
Engineered Ex-Military Hunter, whatever that means, who comes to earth
to, what? We arenít sure and itís hard to believe that anyone could
care. In any event, he takes her into space where she meets Eddie
Redmayne in a role he will certainly want to forget if he ever has the
unenviable task to watch this on the screen, not unlike Paul Newman who
was always trying to forget his role in The Silver Chalice
(1954). This is a real come down from Remayneís Oscarģ-nominated role
last year in The Theory of Everything.
Not that this is anything to alert the media about, itís agony watching
Tatum muddle through yet another script. Granted, I guess he is supposed
to be some sort of an automaton, but thatís the way he always appears in
all his roles, regardless of what is actually called for.
The only reason to see this movie is to watch the 3-D and the special
effects but, good as they are, they are certainly not worth 127 minutes
trapped in a theater with Channing Tatum and this story.