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Avengers: Age of Ultron (1/10)

by Tony Medley

Runtime 141 minutes.

OK for children.

When this finally ended I had an appreciation for how it feels to be unjustly convicted of a crime, sentenced to prison for life, and be released after 10 years when it was discovered you were not guilty. Sure, it feels good to be free, but whoís going to give you back your time?

This is true Hollywood garbage. Itís a film with no plot, no acting, virtually no script, and no raison dí Ítre except to make money. The actors who participate, specifically Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Mark Ruffalo, Jeremy Renner, and Samuel L Jackson, are all A-list stars. They are accompanied by other fine actors like Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, James Spader (who plays the new villain, Ultron, an artificial intelligence creation of Downeyís, in a motion capture suit), and Don Cheadle. They desecrate their God-given talent by participating in such a mockery. Their exceptional talents add nothing, zero, zilch, nada, to what is nothing more than a special effects-laden mishmash of ridiculous, unending fights among characters who never suffer any effects from the brutal encounters. I could be cast as Iron Man in place of Robert Downey Jr. (or, for that matter, as Black Widow in place of Scarlett Johansson) without detracting one iota from the quality of the movie or its appeal to its target audience.

Itís a cartoon based on cartoons, agony to sit through almost 2 Ĺ hours. Itís not interesting, tense, exciting, funny, romantic, or anything else that is required for entertainment. Itís a sad commentary on the viewing public that this movie that cost a quarter of a billion dollars to make will undoubtedly rake in a fortune in profits at the box office.

I didnít think I would see a worse major studio movie than Furious 7 (which has topped the box office for four weeks in a row), but this movie proved me wrong. But as long as the target audience seems to be teenage boys still marveling at the wonder of their first orgasm, and as long as these movies make a ton of money, they will continue to be made. I have to see them because itís my job. Fortunately for you, however, you donít.

If you want to see a good movie about artificial intelligence, avoid this and go see Ex Machina.

 

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