by Tony Medley
I hate to spend any
more time on this over and above the time I spent driving to the
screening, sitting through it, and driving home. When we arrived for the
screening I asked the running time and was told 80 minutes, so I got
excited. Unfortunately, like Bogey in “Casablanca,” I was misinformed.
It went on and on and on.
I’m not even going to
try to relate the plot, it is so insipid. Satire is one thing. Stupidity
is something else again. I didn’t think I could see anything this stupid
that didn’t have Will Ferrell in it. I was mistaken. “Beerfest” makes
“Talladega Nights” look like Hamlet. Even the occasional big-bosomed
bare-breasted babe didn’t add any enticement.
How can I describe
this? Picture yourself watching beer commercials. Now picture yourself
watching all the jerks in the beer commercials while they live their
lives over an entire movie. Now picture that movie lasting around one
hour forty-five minutes. Now picture yourself still alive with a still
fully functioning brain after enduring that agony. If you can picture
the last, you believe in miracles.
I can’t remember a
year when there have been as many horrible movies. “Beerfest” is the
poster child for them.
August 24, 2006